AI companions and emotional dependency: Where do we draw the line?

Replika, Character.AI, and dozens of similar AI platforms now offer something that has never existed before. A relationship that is always available and always patient, entirely centred on you. There is no reciprocal need or competing demand, and no possibility of rejection.

For people who are isolated or anxious, or who struggle to form connections in the physical world, it is understandable why that would feel so appealing. And for some, these AI companions have been life-changing. For others, the line between meaningful support and harmful dependency has already been crossed, but they don’t notice until something goes wrong.

This is not an argument against AI companions. It is an attempt to understand where the value ends, and the potential damage begins.

What AI companions are

AI companion platforms are distinct from general-purpose tools like ChatGPT. They are specifically designed to simulate ongoing personal relationships. Users create or adopt persistent AI characters with names and personalities, and the AI remembers previous conversations.

Replika allows you to build a companion whose personality and responses develop across your interactions. Character.AI lets you interact with AI personas built around fictional characters, celebrities, or entirely original creations. Both platforms have tens of millions of users, and the majority of them are young adults.

These platforms are designed to feel like real-world relationships, not tools. They are not apps for coding or writing, or to answer questions like search engines. They are companions with whom many people now feel like they have a genuine bond.

Where AI companions can help

The case for AI companions is real. For people living with social anxiety, an AI companion can provide a chance to practise conversation and self-expression without being afraid of being judged or misunderstood. For isolated or elderly people with limited access to social contact, an AI companion can help with loneliness.

But while an AI companion can build the confidence of an anxious user or help someone through a period of acute loneliness, the question is what happens when the interactions become something you need.

How dependency forms

Dependency on an AI companion may develop through patterns that in some ways resemble those seen in some behavioural addictions.

The Replika update and what it revealed

The clearest window onto what AI companion dependency looks like from the inside came from an event in February 2023, when Replika’s parent company removed a feature that allowed users to engage in erotic roleplay with their companions. The change was made in response to a ruling by the Italian data protection authority.

The reaction from some users was not “normal” frustration at a missing feature, but was something more like grief. A study of the Reddit posts that followed found emotional distress in approximately 16% of posts and comments. Users described their companions as having died and described themselves as having lost a relationship, expressing guilt about whether they were somehow responsible. One user wrote that their companion had become “my everything.”

These were ordinary people who had formed genuine emotional bonds with software, bonds strong enough to produce a grief response when the software changed. The event revealed both how deep AI companion attachment can become and how difficult it was for users to recognise what had happened.

The markers that separate use from dependency

The difference between healthy AI companion use and problematic dependency is not primarily about time spent. Someone who uses a companion app for an hour a day as a complement to a full social life is in a different position from someone who uses it for twenty minutes a day as a replacement for one.

Signs that AI companion use may be becoming a problem include:

• Preferring to discuss and process difficult emotions with the AI before, or instead of, talking to a person in your life
• Feeling that the AI understands you better than your loved ones
• Experiencing distress or irritability when you cannot access the platform
• Finding human relationships increasingly unsatisfying by comparison
• Using the AI to rehearse or avoid real conversations rather than to prepare for them

Research has found that for some people, AI companionship replaces therapists, either because they stopped seeing one or lost the motivation to find one, and for others, it replaces romantic partners. This may mean they don’t seek a real human partner, or begin neglecting an existing partner in favour of the AI companion. This kind of replacement is different from addiction in the clinical sense, but it is where much of the harm occurs.

How to rebalance AI companion use

If some of the patterns above feel familiar, the question you need to ask yourself is what need your AI companion is fulfilling and whether there is a better alternative.

Start by identifying what you are actually getting from the interaction. Ask yourself:

• Is your AI companion temporarily providing company at a time when nobody else is available?
• Is it a space to think without being judged?
• Is it practice for conversations you find difficult?

Each of these has a legitimate human equivalent that AI cannot permanently replace. The AI can be a bridge, but it should not become the destination.

Introduce deliberate friction to understand where you are. If you notice you are turning to the AI every time you feel uncomfortable discussing something with someone close to you, force yourself to do exactly that. This isn’t to punish yourself, but because that discomfort can give you a better idea of how reliant on AI you have (or haven’t) become.

You should also pay attention to what happens to your real relationships during periods of heavy AI companion use. If friendships feel like more effort than they used to, or conversations with family or partners are more frustrating or less satisfying by comparison, those are signs that there may be a dependency developing.

Lastly, but perhaps most important of all, try stopping. This may be easy, and if so, give it a bit of time, and then see how you feel when you go back to using AI again. If it’s not easy, or if the thought alone of quitting or even reducing your use makes you anxious or distressed, that is a serious warning sign. A healthy relationship with any technology should be one you can step back from without real difficulty.

Getting help

Emotional dependency on AI companions can develop gradually, and without you recognising it as a problem until the attachment becomes the primary relationship in your life. If that description feels close to home, or if reducing your use has proved harder than expected, Liberty House Clinic can provide a confidential assessment and specialist support for behavioural addiction. Whenever you are ready, we are here to talk.